Saturday, April 26, 2014

Signs you can't ignore

I was on my way into the Woo, but hadn't heard back from the person I was going to see, so I took a left and figured I would go to a cafe and write for a while and wait for a message.

While driving I was listening to a segment on NPR called Death and Taxes. The story playing was about Hospice and the interviewer was talking to a nurse and family members of the patients. It hit home pretty hard, but like a car accident or a Brittany Spears video, even though you probably shouldn't, you just have to tune in. I was in tears hearing the labored breathing and that all too familiar way someone who is dying attempts to speak, like a bad ventriloquist, very monotone, no energy to put into pronunciation never mind just mustering up the words. "Do you want a shower?" "No, no, I can't." Resonated right in the middle of my chest.

While listening to this I came out near the reservoir in a town nowhere near where I thought I would.  I was on the same street as my Mom's credit union. The one I have been avoiding, I am on the account and have to close it. She died December 15, 2012, here it is April 26, 2014. I couldn't ignore the signs. They closed at 1 p.m. and it was 12:30 p.m. Short and sweet. Get in and get out. No one is going to want to stay late, so the chances they won't drag out the process were in my favor.

Mom had that account for more years than I can remember. She used to tell me "Today is the anniversary of the day I opened my account back in...." I mean, Mom celebrated everything, including the day she opened up her own credit union account. She remembered that my brother Michael had his spleen removed on Flag Day back in 19XX... I mean she remembered and celebrated all sorts of things.

My license and a signature, and it was closed. A ten minute transaction and she was no longer a "Member." I held my tears back until I got into the car and then let them go. If someone were to be on a commercial praising this place it should have been Mom. She always talked about how wonderful they were and how they were the first financial institution to give her a loan. How they were so friendly to her (I believe she brought that out in people). She always had a smile and a kind word. She was very good at meaningful small talk. Even going to the oncology floor with Mom was like walking in with a movie star!

Today I feel like she is just one more step removed from this Earth.

I ache to hear her voice daily, some days I am okay, and some days I am definitely NOT okay.

Grief, "not a linear process." Death, so much more than just the actual act of dying, or losing the person at their last breath. So, so much more.

She is no longer a member.

xo Mom ox

Friday, April 25, 2014

Hitting a New Low?

It's totally acceptable to borrow a $1 from a kids piggy bank and then put said dollar under said kid's pillow, from the Tooth Fairy, right???? I mean who really has cash on them these days anyway? Is this our new low, or just a sign of the times?

We were going to leave a fiver and a note asking that she leave change for the Fairy to pick up the following night, but thought, with our lack of follow through it would just set us up for more dodging questions about imaginary figures someone created to make parents feel even less qualified for this position than we already do!

We'll pay it back, with interest. Whether we actually put the cash back in that pastel-stripped piggy or not...

...we'll pay!!!!!

Monday, April 21, 2014

An American Won...

An American won. Med is the true definition of AN American. He is someone who came to this country from another at the age of 12 and calls America his home. American is a place for anyone who wants to live here! Let's us learn from this.
We are proud to call Meb an American as the winner of the Boston Marathon, Let us also be proud to call him an American because he lives here. He is an immigrant and works hard at what he does and is one of us...a HUMAN!

Meb is a HUMAN who lives in the United States.

Acceptance cannot just be granted on the merits of winning a marathon, it must be given to all of us, relatives of immigrants who once came to this country as Irish, Finish, Italian, African, Nepalese...we are ONE!

Meb Keflezighi Becomes First American Boston Marathon Champion since 1983 -
Meb Keflezighi became the first American champion of the Boston Marathon since 1983 Monday.

Tuesday, April 15, 2014

Good Friday?

Zoe asked why she had Friday off and because I don't participate in the Catholic traditions or go to church anymore I told her "Good Friday is a day where you get to have a day off from school, but you have to be good ALL day!" I'm not sure she bought it, but what else am I going to say "It was the day the Catholics believe a man was nailed to a cross and that is why you have the day off?" Hmmm, wait a minute, that IS what they told me....
Oh, that reminds me, I have therapy Friday!

Monday, April 7, 2014

It's SPRING Dammit!! WE WILL BE HAPPPY!!!!!!!

It's SPRING Dammit!! WE WILL BE HAPPPY!!!!!!!

So, obviously many local bakeries now have some STIFF competition! 

Moments of Madness Happy Confections sponsored by Pfizer and Kraken Rum are ready for your orders!

While I am confident I will get customers coming out of the woodwork I fear my chances of obtaining a storefront might be difficult at best. Wish me luck!

Easter Bunny might not make it anywhere else after he hits our house so fingers crossed he gets to everyone else first!

(So, this is what happens when I am in the kitchen putting cupcakes away and see my prescription bag on the counter...As some brilliant and funny person said to me today "My mind is a dangerous neighborhood." Do I have that correct, person who shall remain nameless?)

And yes, I put the medications away in a safe place out of reach of children, the rum too, and covered the cupcakes. This was solely for humor and not to be taken out of context. Just feeling a bit sassy...a good sign for me!